datebynumbers:

on silence

I’m sorry it took so long to respond!  What’s up?

Whatever, it’s cool.

Sometime on Sunday, my phone buzzed twice.  One buzz for an email; two buzzes for a text.  My phone was sitting on my dresser, probably about three feet from me, just barely out of arm’s reach.  I was on my bed, listening to a comedy station on the radio, playing Spider Solitaire on my iPad, tea steeping on the windowsill.  I had no idea who was texting, and I didn’t really care.  I was having the kind of lazy Sunday doctors prescribe.  It was too windy to ride my bike and I had leftover pizza in the fridge.  The tea bag tag had a fortune, “Bliss will find you when you let it.”  

That morning, 103 and I had gone for breakfast at a funky, old diner. The waitress wore bedazzled jeans and pink furry boots. She sounded like a joyful Bond villain, and she could not recommend the apple strudel enough.  We succumbed to the peer pressure, but please, no whipped cream. She refilled our coffee too many times, and we talked about our dream house, playing footsie under the table. Yes, lots of windows. Yes, in the canyon somewhere. No, of course not modern.  I stole bacon from his plate, he stole sausage from mine.  The color of my coffee went from tan to chocolate to taupe as I chased the refills with cream.  Bliss found me at a Czech diner on a windy Sunday in the mountains.  

That afternoon, I positioned myself at the end of my bed so the sun shining through the window would hit my face.  I let my thoughts wander back to waking up next to 103, his dog licking my face.  “Looks like he likes you.”  103 laughed as he said it and kissed the top of my head.  I sighed, and I let the moment continue to skip in my mind.  Lost in reverie and Solitaire, I didn’t care when my phone buzzed twice.  I was busy.  

Sometimes, people are not connected.  Sometimes, people are living.  And sometimes, they are doing nothing at all.  They didn’t see your text, they forgot they heard their phone buzz, and they were breathing for the first time in weeks.  Silence is not an insult – it’s something we used to treasure.  Allow people time so they can allow you the same.